The paperbag mini album I started yesterday. Just finished it, and I realize I didn't make a space to write the album name =_=;;; oh well. Wordless is the best~
*future hijack* It wasn't THAT bad! I mean it's obvious we weren't really comfortable on stage... heck... I'm not even comfortable anywhere on earth. There's a lot of things we learned from doing this, and that was the point, besides dumb fun. There was so much fear in every little thing I did, every step I took, because of how the costume was made or something else. My sword broke, and the rest of my choreo was disrupted. but at the point where I decided to take off the hanging piece and continue, was the point that was most fun. Performance is not just practice. But with enough practice you get comfortable making decisions on the spot. I didn't get enough practice or preparation, because our approach was flawed. There are so many things that go into making something work. Thank you so much to Knife who helped us so very much! I think he was the most comfy ahaha. I want to perform again, for dumb fun.
So sorry, Tim, for ruining your beautiful stage T_T
-continue slitting body parts-
And my bloody name...... sigh.
*future hijack from 2014* -ROLLS EYE- of all the bloody things I chose to say, this was it? I know I was affected by other things when I wrote this, and it is true that I thought it, but I thought a lot of things and this was not the final say. I'm very thankful to Tim for lending us this stage for those moments. And I do think we brought something different to the set. Nobody else did a skit. Everyone else performed musical numbers. Fightsaber did audition but they didn't get in, but we did, because we were cosplaying and it was a cosplay event and srsly I think that these events need more cosplay skits and not just have them for competition. (pfft i have an opinion. conscience at my side rolling eye at me while i roll eye at self.) yea well anyway stuff had been said in eoy post. I just came back to this one because i remember being influenced by something negative while i posted this. just making amends
Before this, I thought; 5 years and I'm still small fish swimming in the darkest part of an evergrowing pond. Now, I say the darkest corners are the only ones I deserve.
Worthless good-for-nothing shit, go die. Slit your throat and feed your blood to the sharks. If they'd even bother. You dare think light is worth shining on you? The smell of cut grass and soil after rain makes you sick. Even nature is against you. Go back to your hole, and if you ever think of sticking your head out again, think hard until you realise why you're in a hole in the first place.
I put on Full Moon Sway and stare up at the clouds which are almost a constant reminder that the beauty of the cosmos does not wish to present itself to those who seek it because they are weak.
I'm glad I kept a handful of resolve in a jar. It sits beside my jar of corneas. For safe-keeping because I'd loose it so willingly, like now.
SUDDENLY.
Something happened, a realisation, that had almost nothing to do with the above despair. I AM NOW SO HAPPY LOLOLOLOOLLOL.
Let's start with the beginning of the day, which was not supposed to be. I wasn't supposed to sleep. It was 4:50AM and I was waiting for 6:00AM to arrive. But I was in the dark, and silence, and I have to admit I was sleepy. But I kept switching places and literally forcing my eyes to open and take in as much light as nocturnal creatures do. And I swear, I did not stop. Apparently I went into a state of suspension and FELL ASLEEP. After all the effort!!!! Now this is bad. Because I know I should not sleep or I won't wake up. I set multiple alarms which never do their job on me. Kai SMSed me so many times. And then she called once, and I immediately woke up with once again, like a broken record, "fuck." We were supposed to meet up at the mall at 8 and take a bus to the event. It was... 8:30AM. I hadn't packed. I did write down a list of what to bring in the futile effort to keep awake though. So I stuffed things into my bag, and damn thankful that I left my armour with Kai the night before. Kicked Sai awake and gave her a list too. It was 9 when I left the house. Grabbed a cab, pick up Kai at the mall and off to RP thinking of the countless times I made her wait >.>
We got our passes, then headed to the dressing rooms. Tsk. We weren't that late. After a while of sitting down in an attempt to calm self down from distortion and the promise of further distortion, we got dressed. This was one of the rare times I got in costume faster than her which is nothing to brag about. Sai was still not there yet. She reached around 11, I can't recall, but it was before the briefing by Tim at 11:45. After that was lunch, so it was her turn to get dressed. I would really advise against not trying full costume like, the day before or something, but I did only finish her costume that morning before I went into that involuntary state of suspension. Stuff falling off, sticky things not doing their job. We hot-glued things that aren't meant to be permanent. But that's okay. We sat down with a few other performers and ate food that refused to make themselves at home in my stomach. It was nice food, but I think I was nervous.
ya think?
Anyhows. We went out to roam a bit before we have to report backstage, and it was really a bit. Kaika spotted us and we chatted a bit, and I bet she didn't know I secretly had stars behind my eyes ☆o☆. I'm damning myself for forgetting to bring my primary coscard case. It wasn't in the list!!! Suddenly it was 2PM. Backstage, after popping into another dressing room and crapping around, we -tried- to do a few runs with Knife, our Ninja Sith Villain Dude. I don't remember if we managed to. It was time to standby at the stage area. There was confusion with microphones and music. That was settled. But the music started a bit too early for Motochika.
The three of us; Motochika, Gracia and me went out together, but Motochika started first while me and Gracia stoned below the stage. First step, Motochika accidentally released his plectrum and it went flying across stage. Attempting to keep cool, his whole choreography changed as it was improvised into a plot to get that thing back. Of course I wasn't aware of any of this because I was stoning. My cue to enter... so far so good.... then it reached the part where me and him did a sparring sequence. What happened next happened before during practice, but without casualties. Not this time though. Smith, my sword, got caught between Motochika's legs as we were turning, and I heard a snap. I kept breathing. Keep calm. Continue the choreo. And then I looked down and saw he was broken. A couple of inches from the tip was hanging from layers of podge and paint. I sighed. I kept my still poses to those that wouldn't make him look obviously broken. At the corner of my eye, I notice Gracia's got a knot in her ribbon. I refuse to be bothered. When the intro was over, me and Motochika took our mics. I put Smith down as I was supposed to, and on cue, I spoke my line. And then Motochika tried to say his. His mic was off. Resisting the urge to say his lines for him, I continued as if nothing happened. After a few lines, then it came on. Though I shudder to think what my voice really sounds like, we got through that, and it was about time Ninja Sith came on with Gracia. I can't remember the sequence of events, but before the fighting scene, I knew I had to do something to the limping Smith. Warrior mode on, I stepped on the broken part and ripped it off, killing him. At least now I wouldn't have to worry about how it would look like flapping about. And another thing. I wouldn't have to hold back much against the lightsaber. Motochika shoved the Sith to me and I fought. It felt like this time in secondary school where I fought a guy using bokken. We didn't hold back, and the weaker sword was spitting splinters into the air like magic. Only now, it was foam. I felt satisfaction. The lights went off, and we walked off stage. As I was expecting silence as if we didn't even appear on stage, it was pleasant to know the seats were not filled with crickets (honestly, the audience is hidden behind light and smoke, I could barely tell up from ahead.) I accidentally kicked the original broken-off portion in the dark while walking off, which was fortunate because I was wondering how I'd get it back, or if it would lay there on stage for the rest of the day.
After mental head-bashing for mistakes and mourning Smith's death, we went out to roam some more. Double cursing self for not bring coscard case. We went into the auditorium to catch our Ninja Sith, who by then would have been in his third costume change, performing in his singing group. We were early and managed to catch some enjoyable performances. There we realised how close the stage actually was. And the hopes that our mistakes would be blurred out crashed. Facepalms later, we're enjoying some favourite songs. It feels distant to watch the people you were in the same dressing room with. Like "heeeeyyy that girl was beside us and we barely talked to herrrr". Some time around 5, me and Motochika went back to the dressing rooms. Gracia and her ever missing presence have been accurately portrayed in our skit. It's based on true story yo. But she got back anyway. Before 6, we reported at stage area again, and watch Hitomi from the side >////< I was gonna fangirl her, and then Motochika beat me to it. LOLOL. That was unexpected yet completely understandable. She is frikkin adorable. After her performance, they had a cake out. And somehow all performers were invited to stage. So we went. And adored Hitomi more. And got a picture with her. =///w///=~
I think we ate again then. And then changed out and cleared our stuff. I received a lovely NGE poster from Xu Yun, and she waited for us to finish clearing. Gracia ciaoed first, so me and Kai went back with her. I was supposed to drop dead in the bus but we ended up talking and I just built up my headache stronger XD
And here I am now.
Stalker pic of Hitomi eating XD
~in the dressing room~ Motochika
Oresama
Gracia
Big ass mirrors to see all angles
Big Thank You to Tim, Vincent, Shi Hai, Backstage crew I can't put names on the faces, THANKS FOR EOY~
